Unsettled and “in-between”.
The grey area of being “in-between” your old life and your new life can feel so unsettling— but also where I find that the real transformation begins. For me it’s been a challenging, yet such a rewarding revelation realizing that I am actively falling away from who I used to be, but also simultaneously falling into who I’m becoming.
That tension….it’s growth….and it’s beautiful.
The things that used to trigger you before, the addictions you used to hold, the attitude or characteristics you once carried are slowly but surely lifting and you can feel the newness encapsulating your soul. But there’s frustration because you just aren’t there completely. Whether it be emotionally, physically, spiritually, or mentally you know there is so much growth, but the changes your feeling and seeing are so noticeable that there’s this sense of excitement and wonder. Who or will I inspire with my transformation? Does that even matter to me? Will I go back to my old ways? Will I even enjoy this new life? Will others be jealous? How will I handle it if they are? These are all questions I’ve asked myself during the last 5 months and honestly, the answer to all of them is still “I don’t know.”
The “in-between” is so uncomfortable because it’s where old habits don’t fit anymore….but the new ones haven’t fully formed yet. It’s walking away from people, places, and things that feel familiar, without yet feeling grounded in what’s next.
It’s the constant feeling of imposter syndrome.
It’s quiet. It’s stretching. It’s refining.
But it’s also SACRED.
God often does His deepest work in the unseen, in the “in-between.” The “in-between” is where trust is built, identity is reshaped, and obedience is tested without applause.
The only advice I have to someone who is entering the “in-between” is;
Don’t rush this season
Don’t go back just because it is familiar
Genesis 19:26 (NIV) “But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”
Luke 9:62 “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Growth rarely feels clear while you’re in it— but one day you’ll look back and realize these were the moments where everything started to change. Trust where God is taking you, even if it doesn’t feel like home yet….even if you don’t feel like you deserve it yet.
You don’t need clarity or comfort, all you need is OBEDIENCE.
DON’T LOOK BACK.