Redefining Success: From Burnt Out To Blessed
There was a time when I thought success had a very specific look.
It looked like discipline without rest. It looked like a perfectly sculpted body. It looked like control, structure, constant striving. And for a while, I lived in that world— training hard, pushing my body its limits, preparing for a bodybuilding competition. I believed that if I could just achieve that level of physical perfection, I would feel fulfilled.
But what no one really talks about is what happens after.
After the stage. After the awards (or in this case, lack there of), after the goal was met.
For me, what came after was silence.
I had reached a super lean physique with no awards to show for it and honestly didn’t even really like the body I had worked so hard to get. I felt masculine, too lean (even though to the judges I wasn’t lean enough) and for the life I was leading, I felt like I had lost all my womanly features.
I was exhausted, skinny, unfulfilled. The routine of going to the gym was no longer pleasurable. The workouts, although productive, were boring and redundant; I felt alone and, frankly, bored.
To clarify, my love for training and getting back in the gym stemmed from a life of TEAM sports, so to have fallen in love with the group class teaching (AT THE GYM THAT I HAD LOST 40 LBS AT) and athletic-like training, to then go into an isolating version of training, by myself, at a gym full of bodybuilders who were not my friends and focusing on pulling food away to get lean enough, versus using it as fuel for my workouts, was something very new to me.
So what did I do after this competition instead of reverse diet & actually do the reverse correctly, I drowned in donuts.
But why does this story even matter…. it matters because from 2021-2025 my life was in shambles. I was questioning my worth, professionally embarrassed because I was still, from 2021-2023, personal training, and completely felt like I was not living the life I was preaching to all of my clients…and had fallen into a depressed, lazy lifestyle. I went from being at my lowest weight of 157 to getting up to 220 within a matter of 2-3 months.
Fast forward to the end of 2025, I was fed up, my clothes didn’t fit, my reflection in the mirror did not resemble the woman I had worked so hard to get away from….my eldest son had started his journey to college, my sister had moved in, and I felt like finally it was time for me to focus on what made me happy. But what did make me happy, who was I even without a busy schedule of shuttling my son from practices and school. Had I lost myself completely?
2025 did come with some upsides.
Financially I was in a better place, but mentally and physically I still felt unworthy and like something was missing.
It wasn’t until I noticed my eldest son, Lawrence, really beginning is journey focusing and following Christ, that everything shifted. I had noticed the young, new college athlete who loved to be around his friends and do what teenagers do start to have devotionals, go to church, become single, focus on reading verses hanging out with friends and give up his worldly needs that it all clicked. If my son could make the change, why couldn’t I ? It was then that I decided to take back my life and follow him.
My son single-handedly….even though he doesn’t know it… got me out of the worst and darkest place I think I had ever been. He showed me what it was, to not only be a great mom, but a daughter in Christ.
Not only did he help me rediscover my love and need for Jesus, but with this new found adoration and love for the King of Kings, Honor Thy Temple was born.
I had been meal prepping for some old fitness clients and referrals, for extra money and as a hobby, but there was no organization behind it. After some thought I realized that the next stage of my life was simple, HONOR GOD and everything else will fall into place.
And that is how Honor Thy Temple was born. I’m forever grateful for the experience to share my life, ideas, God, and my food with you all and I can’t wait to take this journey with you.
What I hope this “brand” helps all of you with is that success isn’t about how your body looks.
It’s about:
How you feel when you wake up
How you take care of your body— not punish it
How connected you are to God
How aligned your life is with your purpose
I stopped looking at my body as something to control, and started seeing it as something to HONOR.
‘Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20